How many people actually have what they would consider to be real friends in the workplace?
I've had a few jobs, and in my experience, if you leave a place of employment with even one true friend, someone you would want to be a part of your life forever, you're lucky.
For the most part, it seems that friends at work are people you spend a lot of time with (approximately 8 hours a day) and eat lunch with or take a coffee break with, even talk about your personal lives with. But how many of those people would you actually invite to your home or include in your activities outside of work?
My guess is very few. I've collected friends over the years, in my various jobs, but I can count on one hand the people that I still keep in touch with some 20 years later.
I think the commonality that you have with friends at work is that you work at the same place. You have the same gripes, the same highs (if you're lucky) and the same lows. But once you're gone, it's like out of sight, out of mind. Your former co-workers are on to the next person who replaces you. And you're sitting around wondering "what happened to my friend?"
A few months ago, I started a new job, and at first, I kept in touch with my old colleagues. They kept in touch with me.
But as time goes on, you keep in touch less and less. Oh, sure, you say when you leave, "I'll stay in touch." Or, "You're not getting rid of me!" But, I think there's something about the people that leave versus the people that stay that make for a fundamental difference in your philosophy on not just work, but life.
It seems to me that some people only make friends at work. Or that their life is work. So, the idea of forging relationships that go outside the bounds of the 9 to 5 is not something that really happens for them.
For me, I'm only interested in like-minded individuals. Eight hours a day might make you think you have more in common with a person than you really do. In fact, you might be more different than you are similar. Or, maybe like me, you believe it when people say they really like you. They might really be full of it.
That said, I am in the process of accepting that some people come into your life for a season, others for a lifetime. The key is to know when to cut-bait.
Oh, and be wary of people who have more than 300 Facebook friends. Those are usually the ones who use the term "friend" loosely.
In fact, I think that I'm going to blame Facebook for the demise of human relationships. Yep, that's it. Works for me.
Now that I've made everyone depressed, have a great weekend! ;)
1 comment:
It is more than rare to gain a real "friend" in the workplace - these days. I watch all co-workers like a chicken watching a hawk!!! It is so very unfortunate, but most co-workers who masquerade as friends are only trying to gain your confidence for their own purposes. It's most co-workers version of "Upward Mobility" - your back is their ladder to success. Very sad. Perhaps, pessimistic, but unfortunately a reality and tragedity of "living for the city". Have a swell day:)!
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