Conversations at work: 10 ways to revolutionize your workplace - one conversation at a time
by Matt Krumrie, Minneapolis Workplace Examiner
Seven out of ten people say that conversation is essential to getting things done at work. Yet, roughly half of today’s careerists - regardless of level or position - admit to finding it difficult to have open, honest conversations at their company.
That's what authors Jamie and Maren Showkeir say. The pair are co-authors of Authentic Conversations: Moving from Manipulation to Truth and Commitment (Berrett-Koehler, 2008, $18.95) and partners of Henning-Showkeir & Associates (henning-showkeir.com), a business and workplace consultancy.
The result? Everyday conversations - the “invisible” driver of workplace culture and business success - are frequently manipulative and counterproductive.
Below are ten ways to take the lead and create change, say the authors, one authentic conversation at a time:
1. Have a point of view
Develop an informed, independent viewpoint about the topic at hand. Have a strong voice, but be open to others’ perspectives, too.
2. Focus on choice
Need to be right or do everything your way? Get over it. Leadership—formal or informal—is no longer defined as “having the right answers,” but as an ability
to engage others in considering all the choices and finding the best solution.
3. Raise difficult issues
It’s not easy to bring up a hard subject. Still, be the one who acknowledges
the “elephant in the room” and concentrates on resolution.
4. Extend goodwill
Approach others as allies—not adversaries. Choose to convey goodwill—despite any existing stress or strain—and manage your emotions.
5. Take the other side
Go ahead—argue the other person’s point of view. You’ll help people feel heard and understood, and get to the heart of collaboration.
6. Own it
Resist the urge to point the finger when things go wrong. Identify your own contribution to the problem and make it public.
7. Deny denial
Denying or downplaying difficulties is dishonest and demeaning. Address the truth of a situation—the cold, hard facts—and invite others to join you in moving forward.
8. Confront cynicism
Beware the cynics, victims, and bystanders. Sure, they’re everywhere in the workplace, but if you’re clear on where you stand, you needn’t pour your energies into winning them over—just invite them to make their own choices instead.
9. Deal with resistance
Turning a blind eye to resistance won’t make it disappear. Learn to see it, call it out, and deal with it.
10. Process
When a conversation takes a turn for the worse, stop and “process” what’s happening. Admit you’re at an impasse, make a good-faith statement, and ask for help.
Finally, stop playing the parent and taking responsibility for others’ feelings. Encourage everyone - co-workers, direct reports, and even the boss - to deal with their own emotions and let go of the childlike hope that somebody else will make
it “all better.”
